Unripe Gucamole

image borrowed from Breakfast with Spanky

Do you ever find yourself in the situation where you are about to enjoy an exotic dish of guacamole, which you've been imagining all morning, and salivating over the vision dancing through your head of such a creamy, zesty combination of foods? Where you've got the rest of your meal together, all boring and chickenish, and to excite yourself, you will be feasting on beautiful avocados, juicy tomatoes, garlic, cilantro and lime blended together, marinated in each others flavors....
Well, that was me yesterday. I'd just bought some gluten free multi-grain crackers at Costco, and was so excited to try them out, topped with guacamole. I chopped my tomatoes and cilantro, squeezed the juice from my limes, zested my garlic, and as I began cutting into my avocado, my heart dropped. It was hard as a rock. I had to get out my chainsaw to get through it. I literally had to saw the skin off the flesh. The dread began to well up inside me, my hope of spicing up an otherwise boring meal of chicken and quinoa fading fast. I reached for my iPod, desperate to search the world wide web for any advice, any help for my situation. Sadly, I discovered I had no connection to the outside world. Oh yeah...I remembered my husband has been upstairs all morning, rearranging our office, and had unplugged our internet.
Frustrated, I glanced around the kitchen. I spotted my Vitamix, freshly washed from having made my weekly batch of almond milk. An idea began to form in my mind. Holding my breath in anticipation, I grabbed the blender, threw in the avocado pieces, a couple scoops of salsa, and some lime juice. I began blending. I added a little bit of almond milk to cream it up, then added half of the other ingredients. I blended for about a minute, scraping the sides down, then added the rest of the ingredients, and blended for awhile longer.
I grabbed a cracker, and nervously scooped a bit of the green goop out of the blender. I raised it to my mouth, my hands shaking, and took a bite. I smiled. I began to breathe again. It was good. Not as amazing as freshly mashed guacamole. There were no ripened chunks of avocado. It was mostly pureed, with a little piece of tomato here and there. But it was a great substitute, and still managed to make a mundane meal better. Way better than throwing up my hands and tossing everything into the trash. I considered it a success :)
So, if ever you find yourself in a similar situation....Relax. Keep breathing. Grab your blender, and remember that life will still go on with guacamole!